For many women, career growth is not blocked by talent. It is blocked by invisible patterns: people-pleasing, fear of criticism, overthinking how you are perceived, and waiting for permission. This conversation with career expert Heather Elkington puts those patterns under a microscope and offers a practical reset: stop outsourcing your confidence, own your standards, and build a career around self-respect rather than approval.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One of the strongest insights in this discussion is that overwork is not always ambition. Sometimes it is fear wearing ambition\u2019s clothes. Many high-achieving women work longer, say yes more often, and over-deliver constantly because they are trying to avoid judgment rather than maximize impact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That pattern can look successful from the outside, but inside it usually feels like burnout, resentment, and disconnection from meaningful work. The turning point comes when you ask: \u201cAm I doing this to grow, or doing this to be accepted?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The transcript addresses a current debate: some people say imposter syndrome is overused, while others feel it deeply and cannot deny it. The useful middle ground is this: the feeling is real, but you can still work with it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A practical method is to identify your exact trigger instead of labeling your entire career as \u201cimposter syndrome.\u201d Is it your age? Accent? background? status? Once the trigger is named, it becomes manageable. You can challenge it, gather evidence against it, and stop letting it run your behavior by default.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A core reframe in this episode is powerful: the thing you feel most insecure about may be the reason your voice matters in the room. If you come from a different class background, region, ethnicity, personality type, or career path than the majority, that perspective is not a flaw to hide. It is often your strategic value.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In practical terms, diversity is not only a hiring metric. It is a decision-quality tool. Teams make better decisions when someone challenges default assumptions. If you are that person, your job is not to blend in perfectly. Your job is to contribute clearly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One standout line in the conversation is this: Perfection avoids criticism. Excellence invites criticism.<\/strong> That distinction matters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perfectionism delays action, increases anxiety, and narrows growth because your goal becomes \u201cdon\u2019t fail publicly.\u201d Excellence is different. Excellence still has high standards, but it allows iteration, feedback, and visible progress. In modern workplaces, the person who ships, learns, and improves usually outperforms the person who stays stuck polishing version one forever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Women are often socialized to interpret criticism as rejection. This makes feedback feel personal instead of useful. A better approach is to actively request feedback before it arrives unexpectedly. When you ask for it, you change the emotional frame from attack to data.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Useful prompts include: \u201cWhat am I doing well?\u201d and \u201cWhat is one thing I should change?\u201d Then pause before reacting. Reflect overnight. Separate tone from content. If the feedback is fair, use it. If it is biased or irrelevant, discard it without internalizing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Another major point: assertiveness is not aggression. Assertiveness is clarity. It means saying what needs to be said without unnecessary softening or apology.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Many women are taught that being liked requires being vague, always agreeable, and conflict-avoidant. In reality, teams trust people who are clear, fair, and consistent. You can absolutely be warm and direct at the same time. In fact, that combination often creates the healthiest leadership culture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The transcript also challenges a common myth: if your work is good, people will notice. Sometimes they will. Often they will not. Visibility matters, especially in large organizations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For professionals who dislike traditional networking, strategic online visibility can be a high-return alternative. Sharing lessons, outcomes, and thoughtful perspectives helps decision-makers connect your name to value. It is not bragging. It is context for opportunity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Early-career women often describe being treated as \u201ctoo young\u201d or \u201cnot ready.\u201d The advice here is realistic: you cannot fully control bias in other people. But you can control your execution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Being underestimated can become fuel. Keep your standards high, focus on output, and document results. Over time, consistent results do what arguments cannot. They reshape reputation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The discussion on after-work social culture is especially relevant in the UK and similar markets where alcohol is deeply tied to professional bonding. The takeaway is nuanced: social connection matters, but your boundaries matter more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You do not need to match every group norm to be respected. Saying no may feel awkward at first, then empowering later. Repeated boundaries teach people how to work with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The closing message is direct and memorable: No one is coming to save you.<\/strong> Promotion, confidence, better managers, healthier boundaries, stronger visibility – none of these happen by accident.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That is not pessimistic. It is liberating. Once you stop waiting for rescue, you start building. And that is where real career momentum begins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Start with small boundaries: fewer automatic yeses, clearer priorities, and direct language. People-pleasing usually drops when self-respect rises.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Name the trigger, prepare your key points, and measure yourself by contribution quality rather than how \u201ccomfortable\u201d you felt in the room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Use structure: clear requests, clear deadlines, clear outcomes. Assertiveness is clarity, not volume.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pause, reflect, extract any useful signal, and ignore the rest. Not all criticism is high quality, but all criticism can be processed with discipline.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" For many women, career growth is not blocked by talent. It is blocked by invisible patterns: people-pleasing, fear of criticism, overthinking how you are perceived, and waiting for permission. This conversation with career expert Heather Elkington puts those patterns under a microscope and offers a practical reset: stop outsourcing your confidence, own your standards, and … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":72767,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":true,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[124,147],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-72765","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-how-to-succeed-in-the-workplace","category-everything-you-need-to-know"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hk.whatjobs.com\/career-advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72765","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hk.whatjobs.com\/career-advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hk.whatjobs.com\/career-advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hk.whatjobs.com\/career-advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/33"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hk.whatjobs.com\/career-advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=72765"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/hk.whatjobs.com\/career-advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72765\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":72766,"href":"https:\/\/hk.whatjobs.com\/career-advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72765\/revisions\/72766"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hk.whatjobs.com\/career-advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/72767"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hk.whatjobs.com\/career-advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=72765"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hk.whatjobs.com\/career-advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=72765"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hk.whatjobs.com\/career-advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=72765"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}How to Take Criticism Without Breaking Your Confidence<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Assertive and Friendly Are Not Opposites<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
LinkedIn, Visibility, and Why \u201cBeing Good\u201d Is Not Enough<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Career Growth for Younger Women: Let Underestimation Work for You<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Boundaries, Alcohol Culture, and Protecting Your Energy<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
No One Is Coming: The Most Important Career Truth<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Frequently Asked Questions<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
How can women stop people-pleasing at work without becoming \u201cdifficult\u201d?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
What is the fastest way to reduce imposter syndrome in meetings?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
How do I become more assertive if I\u2019m naturally soft-spoken?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
How should I respond to criticism that feels personal?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n